Retelling Our Stories

I spent this last week immersed in continuing education in order to hone and polish my skills as a grief support group facilitator. I have come away from this time of intentional learning and sharpening feeling supported, more equipped, and validated in my calling to grief work. I have learned new things, sparked new hopes, collected ideas from colleagues, and been reminded of important principles of supporting people in grief and mourning. One of those principles I have recalled this week is the importance of the griever’s story and the space in which it can be told… and retold.

Anyone who has experienced the death of someone they love has a story. Some of us have multiple. My stories are unique to me just as yours are unique to you. Each griever carries the life changing moments of a death, and those moments need to be spoken. The person who died, who they were, what they meant and still mean to us, need to be told. Grieving people need to retell the story that started their grief journey… and not just once. In fact, they need to tell the story over, and over, and over again. There is a purpose in this that grievers are not even aware of, and usually neither are their friends. Retelling grief stories helps cultivate understanding and acceptance of the reality of the death. Grievers can feel shame or rejection when space is not given to tell and retell their story. Listening to the stories of our grieving friends is sacred space. Being invited into the most painful experience someone may have is an honor. Hearing their story is a privilege. Be patient with your grieving friends and give space to hear their story, over and over until they don’t need to tell it anymore… until they need to tell it again. Being present without judgement or commentary in that sacred space is one of the greatest gifts you can give to those who grieve. And grievers, tell your story… find those who are willing to receive and hold your words with love and empathy.

God gave humanity incredible capacities, and our bodies know we need to speak our stories, even if we are not fully aware of the need. Let us give space to allow our God given capabilities the legroom to work.

https://youtu.be/q-nEiPPU4Oo